Are you superstitious?
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Have you ever wished upon a shooting star, or passed by a penny simply because it was tails up? If you have, you’re not alone. Here are some other superstitions you might not know about. Don’t forget to comment to tell us about any superstitions we missed.
They say bad luck always comes in threes, such as 666 being cursed, or walking under a ladder in front of a black cat into a mirror. While some of these are hard to avoid, some are easy. The other day I was cleaning out a closet, and I opened an umbrella inside to see if it worked. I should have stopped there but I saw some crutches and started playing with them and ended up falling, stepping on a crack, and breaking my leg. Luckily my mother still hasn’t broken her back, knock on wood.
I needed to get a rabbit’s foot, or start looking for some pennies on the ground to turn my luck around. I just hoped they were face up because it was Friday the 13th and I had a wedding to attend. This comes with all its own complications because the groom and I walked into the wrong room and saw the bride in her dress before the ceremony. She was wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue (some of her fiance’s old blue tube socks and some new glasses) so we thought that might counteract it.
But I guess one thing can’t count in multiple categories for that one, because not too long after the wedding she made like the 13th floor of a building and changed her name. But that’s the last I heard of them because I got my friend a knife for his previous birthday — seems that’s bad luck on the friendship. New Year’s Eve was close at hand so I thought I had a chance to finally get a fresh start. I took all precautions; I had black-eyed peas for luck, cabbage for cash, and 12 grapes for 12 good months. All was well until I spilt salt on everything and ruined my meal. I was so panicked about making new food before the ball dropped that I forgot to throw some over my shoulder. My only chance for a good year was to go out and ride a horse. I Don’t know if that only works for actual horse riders, but I was desperate so I went out to the closest stable but when I got there an owl was sitting over the doorway hooting at me… bad luck for seeing it, and somebody in that building might die soon, and it wasn’t going to be me. So I just turned around and went home.
I had to do something to get my mind off of all this bad luck I had been having, so I decided to sit down and watch a baseball game. The Cubs were playing but not even a combination of lucky warm up swings, eating their same lucky meal before the game, and my lucky jersey could keep the curse of the Billy goat away (yes this is a real thing, in 1945 they threw a man and his goat out of the Cub’s stadium and he cursed them).
After the game I decided to go for a walk. I looked up at the sky and saw a shooting star. I wished that I could find something to turn this string of terrible luck around. And there I saw it, a poster looking for people to audition. They would be held downtown at the dance studio. It was at that moment of reading the poster that a man ran up, ripped it off the light pole, screaming that the aliens were coming for him… That’s when I noticed the full moon, seems it brought out the crazy people. And I wondered to myself if that counted as me and the man splitting a pole. If it did, too bad to him cause this would just be a drop in the bucket for me.
I felt like my night should end, I would need my rest for the audition the next day. So I had some Chinese food for dinner and hit the hay. I was awoken though by a powerful itch on my hand. Yes! I thought, that means I’ll receive money soon. But when I looked at my hand I saw a bug. I awoke with a start seeing that it was just a bad dream, and that was how I learned you shouldn’t eat Chinese food before going to sleep or you will have bad dreams.
The next morning I was exhausted, and feeling sick. I was sneezing up a storm but no one was around to say bless you. Regardless, I went to the auditions. I arrived got my try out lines and as I approached the stage, one of the other people auditioning looked at me with a sly grin and said “good luck,” which is bad luck for actors. As I began to read my audition lines I quickly realized what play they were from, Macbeth… whose name is the ultimate bad luck curse on stage. Realizing this as I said his name, I panicked and fell off the stage, and in the process lost my place in the play to the other guy.
At this point I bet you are wondering how all of this started. Well, it began with a business trip to Nigeria. There they have a whole other set of rules for superstitions. I wanted to see some of the countryside while I was there so I drove out of town. My car broke down and I was stranded. It of course started raining, though the sun was still out. Apparently this means that a lion is giving birth, which explains why those lions were so aggressive and attacked my car only moments later. After they left I decided I was getting too thirsty and I needed to go find some water. As I scanned the horizon I saw it, a coconut tree. I walked over and started working on getting one down. When I finally succeeded it was already night time but I was proud of myself. I whistled a little to myself on the way back to my destroyed car but this was my next mistake. My night time whistling attracted a horde of snakes which proceeded to chase me back to my car. It was then in the safety of my car that I made the final mistake which truly set all of these other events in motion: I quenched my ever growing thirst by drinking straight from the coconut, turning me into an olodo, otherwise known as an idiot.
I guess I’m feeling better now so I guess all of this bad luck and superstition wears off after a while. Or maybe we just need a way to justify why bad things happen to us. Eh, that’s no fun. It’s actually because I only dress in horseshoes and four leaf clovers now, you can’t ever forget the basics.
(Share your superstitions in the Comments below, or on the Pony Express Facebook page.)